Lunch Time Chat at St James Ethics CentreWednesday June 14th 2000 (Apologise for no reports for past two months.)
Once again, we were able to welcome a number of people new to our gathering. Thank you for coming. The conversation was around the issue of Interpersonal
support and encouragement. It did seem to our group that positive affirmation or praise was not prevalent in our culture and we wondered why? We felt, intuitively that we would be better off as a community if it was more forthcoming. A part of the problem of course is that by praising others, we risk being seen as insincere and sometimes finding the grace to look for the positive in others was a bit problematical anyway. Even hearing praise often raised suspicion in some members of our group. How could we distinguish between somebody genuinely praising us or giving us positive feedback and those using flattery as a tool? We did seem to be more familiar with the tall poppy syndrome. There seems to be a need for some level of inner strength or a measure of self esteem before we could graciously receive or sincerely deliver positive strokes. Some aspect of this positive delivery only has to be a form of acknowledgement and doesn't have to be praise. For example, acknowledging someones persistence in dealing with some problem even if they haven't succeeded in overcoming it yet. We also noted the advantage of being specific with any praise rather than just using general "You are......" type statements. Praise about specifics is verifiable and less likely to be taken as flattery. Our conclusion was that as a community, we'd all be better served if we could learn to deliver positive affirmations in a heartfelt and sincere manner and also find the poise and maturity to receive praise and positive feedback graciously. What do you think? The next conversation at the St James Ethics
Centre will be in on |
